Well mind the title to this one really haha. I can’t find anything on my mind worth posting ever since my 2 week holiday started and I’ve been banned to do any work until New Year’s passed. So I thought why not share a few thoughts about Christmas?

Christmas. A day celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ for the Christians where families and friends gather around, have fun, be merry and reminisce the past year’s experience together as they enter a new year. Truth to be told, I’m not too fond of Christmas ever since I was a child. I don’t mind it as a celebration mind you but my dislike is more influenced by the memories it brings ever year.

You see, as a child growing up, my parents’ didn’t have much to give. So while other families were out for Christmas doing things together, I and my older sister would be home usually alone since our parents had to work to bring in our daily bread. That wasn’t what I mind about Christmas. Back then, we didn’t have much friends either. In fact our peers hated us so we never got invited to a Party or being offered a present at Christmas. Haha but as pathetic as that may sound, we didn’t mind it too much then. We were kids and we had each other. Who needs the world right?

Decorations, Christmas songs, couples and families walking past you with smiles on their faces. As years past and I grew, my views on things changed. Maybe… you do need the world at some point in your life. Maybe… you can’t survive alone. When one part of my world started to drift apart, it was a wake up call for me to start searching what I want. My sister, as shy or as reserved she may be… has started making friends. True friends, you know the types you call up 4 AM in the morning when you need someone to listen to? In all my 18 years, all I knew what to do was look out for her. She was all I have personally I thought. But now that she doesn’t need to depend on me anymore, what should I do? Can I too find a place where I can depend on someone?

Ever Christmas I am reminded of this fact. It is needed I feel, even though I don’t like it. But hey, what doesn’t kill you make you stronger right? haha I’m not sure why I’m posting this anymore. A chain of events leading up to today I guess made me kind of sad so I though letting it out somewhere, especially where people don’t visit is good. But there’s too much for me to say. Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas haha.

Looking back at my previous entry, this blog seems like a place I com and dump my frustrations upon LAWL. but it’s okay. Since I’m me, I’ll bounce back up fast :”3 As I always do haha. Until the next time, See you~!

I apologize for the sudden disappearence. Currently my life has proved itself to be as busy as ever :”D It’s practically as busy as chasing pigs everday lawl. What with Hari Raya coming and the hamper orders being far from finished, not to mention preparations for AFA2009… it’s been somewhat fulfilling to say the least haha.

I departed from the busy streets if Kuala Lumpur, which has been my life for the past few months since April and return to the serene air of Ipoh, where I grew up in all my life. I came back here for the hamper season since this could be the last time I’d be doing hampers here in Ipoh, I have to pass on the techniques to my younger siblings as it’ll be their turn next year to do them all. They’re holding on pretty well I must say.

But coming back to Ipoh, makes me realize how much I loved this place. The corn fields with the blue mountains behind it as an accompanying backdrop, the small shops filled with a thousand and one antiques in Old Town, the fresh air I took for granted (until I moved to KL that is haha). Coming back here has liberated me as much as it has stressed me out haha X”DDD but I’ll keep that another day.

The next time I post I’ll be sure to post up pictures :”3 Some things are just worth sharing. Until next time <3

YO! (≥ ω ・ )v =♥

LAWL hisashiburi da ne~ I practically left this place unattended. Though I’m not sure if anyone is constantly checking in if I’m still alive or not, I apologize lawl~ I’ll try and post stuff more often. Lately I’ve been really caught up with my homework and studying. Not to mention I’ve been reading this book called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey and it really gave some really good tips for me to exercise and be more proactive. So I’ve been applying alot of the tips given to my daily life. Bit by bit but I’m managing.

I just finished re-watching the second season of Honey and Clover and I must say everytime I watch that series, it always manages to make me think about alot of things in my life. About my family, my passion, and a whole lot of things. Like “what would you do for the one you love?” “Do we help the people around me the way that they have helped us?” “Are people who put up a strong front really that strong on the inside?” and so on~

I was having a discussion the other day with my sister on how people treat both her and me drastically different despite the fact that we’re both girls. Like how they are gentler with her and they’re harsher with me. Not that they’re mean to me, no don’t get me wrong. But how do I put it… they treat me like one of their guy friends if you get what I mean? I mean I guess I’m partly to blame since I’ve used to taking on the more strong character and masculine role between our group and I guess most people forget that… I’m still a person in need of some gentle touch from time to time.

I hope someday, they will notice that beyond my smiles I suffer too. That beyond my “I’m ok”s, it’s a “please help” and I most of all hope that they will return my feelings the way I have for them. I love people. They make me happy and they are all that I live for, to ensure that they’ll beget the happiness that they have given so much to me just by being around them. But I guess sometimes it leaves you a bit lonely don’t it? Because watching them from behind gives you the most happiness but also that loneliness that leaves you wondering sometimes that “is this worth it?”. Well I’m most certain to say that it is. And I believe someday… that one day… someone will turn behind their shoulders and extend their hand to me with a warm smile… and then… surely, my feelings will be returned.